Not Broken

Dear Vulvodynia,

Fuck you for convincing me I was broken and couldn't orgasm. I can orgasm- multiple times!!! Although I hate you most days, thank you for teaching me that no vagina is normal and mine is perfect the way it is.

Becca, USA

Expectations Vs Reality

Dear Vaginal Ring,

You were supposed to make my sex life more enjoyable and make my aching boobs and ovulation pain go away, INSTEAD you gave me constant cramps, bleeding and suuuuuper sore boobs, no sex drive, mood swings and morning anxiety. Taking you out was the best decision I've ever made,
bye forever!

G D, Italy

The Ultimate Rejection

Dear my coil,

Thank you for eliminating most of my endometriosis symptoms. Thank you for allowing me to have pain free, enjoyable sex. But why did my uterus have to reject you. Why did you fall out after 1 year of being fine and cause unimaginable pain.

Mille, England

Murder on the Bedroom Floor

Dear Contraceptive pill,

When I started taking you 7 years ago, I had no idea that down the line, you would completely kill my sex drive. After changing medication after medication, the doctor finally decided to take me off the pill in hopes that it would save my sex drive - I’m not looking forward to having periods again but I need my sex drive back.

Anonymous, UK

So. Much. Blood.

Dear Madam Copper Coil,

Thank you for the horrendous year of 2 week long periods and immense pain. There’s so much blood I don’t want to have sex. And because I can’t take you out myself, you’re still up in there causing havoc! It’s been a dream x

Anonymous, UK

Peace In Our Time

Dear IUD,

Thank you for changing my life forever. You set me free from debilitatingly heavy and painful periods which left me throwing up and missing work. I feel more comfortable in my body thanks to you, no longer at war with my uterus, and free to book a beach holiday or a swim session any day of the month. And for me and my partner sex is a lot sexier without condom smell!

Anonymous, UK

Winner!!!

Dear Vaginismus

Thank you for FINALLY allowing me to have sex. You're a right pain in the arse, but I know now I can beat you, and will continue to keep beating you whenever you rear your ugly head. You ruined my life for so many years, put strains on my relationships and diminished my self worth, but who won? Huh?

Anonymous, England

The Battle Has Just Begun

Dear Vaginismus,

I haven’t won any battle against you yet. Tampons make me cry and sex is impossible. But I will win. One day. The control you have over my body, my choice of period protection, and my sex life makes me miserable. But, as I learn more about you, about how I am going to get help to deal with you, I can confirm it’s the start of the end for you. Here’s to less pain.... emotional & physical.

Molly, England

Knives Out

Dear vaginismus,

You’re the unwelcome guest in every aspect of my relationship. I’ve known for a while what you are but always ignored you blindly hoping you’d go away on your own, but there’s only so many times I can turn down sex. I don’t know where you came from, you never used to cause a problem but one day you made me feel like my insides were knives. I’d never heard about you before this, you’re taboo and I feel unworthy of suffering your wrath when I haven’t been assaulted or any of the other awful causes listed on health sites. I guess that makes you even more menacing, to not know what I could have done better to stop you. I’m terrified of what it’ll take to rid you from my life, but 2 years is too many and I need to take back control of my body. This is the start of the journey and years from now vaginismus, you’ll be a faint memory of something I kicked to the curb.

Georgia, England

You Don’t Understand

Dear fiance,

I have lived 12 long years at your "side" with 5 of those years being quite literally at your side. For this I am thankful, but when it comes to my womanhood you are so clueless and timid. This used to be adorable, but as we've both grown I've realized what an atrocity it was to men and women all around. At the slightest sign of my breasts being tender or my period being inconsistent or my pill being 30 minutes late, your mind instantly worries. " You're not pregnant are you?" is a phrase I so often must laugh or sigh and claim " No!" Too many times I have tried to explain that these things simply happen to a woman and that not all menstrual cycles, pms, and aging goes the same way! Different contraception methods, different feelings towards pads and tampons, and even differing feelings about intercourse for every woman during or after their periods can change so much! It's made me realize that sex education is lacking so horribly for the opposite sex. I've definitely had my fair share of utter confusion about the male body, but things I've learned in the past, or have had to learn over time by myself are so blind to you and have required so much explanation. You still don't understand, and that's okay, because honestly neither do I. It's time for my country to stop being such a prude about our bodies. Sex education should be for all sexes, and OF all sexes! This includes knowledge about what happens to our bodies over time. A period ( or lack-thereof) shouldn't be scary to a little girl, nor a woman, nor that woman's partner of a different sex!

Sincerely, a frustrated woman
Sex Education for all and of all!

Ashlee, USA

Third Time Lucky

Dear progestogen-only pill,

Thank you for being you. For letting me have sex with less fear of getting pregnant. For letting me have regular periods, even though you are progestogen only and that is against the odds. You are the third pill that I have been on - so far, third time lucky. My periods are still just as painful and heavy as usual as they are when I wasn't taking you, but I can just about deal with that.

Thank you for being you.

Yours,
Melissa

Melissa, UK

Long-Ass Cycle

Dear my period cycle,

We’ve been on a long and hard journey together. Even from a young age, your irregularity scared me. Before I started the pill at age 16, my last cycle was 54 days long and that was before I started having sex. More recently at age 19, I stopped the pill (and switched to condoms) and you took 60 days to arrive AND you bleed through my jeans. You really scared me. Even when I know I am not pregnant. So now I’m back on the pill, thanks a lot to my period cycle.

Rachel, Scotland

Safety

Dear the Pill,

You helped me handle the worst cramping, heavy flow and PMS for almost 5 years before my body rejected you (development of melasma). But you also kept me safe from pregnancy during 3 years of an abusive relationship, you meant I never had to make a tough decision about whether to keep a baby. I am now free and safe, and protected by an implant until the day comes that making such a decision is my choice and mine alone. Thank you.

Anonymous, Switzerland

Love, Abortion, Mamma Mia

Dear Abortion,

You were something I thought long and hard about, not something I wanted to do. You were something I had to do. You were the product of the post-break up “off the rails” stage of my life. There were 4 possible fathers I could choose from for you. One was the father I want for my children but the risk of it all was too high. I didn’t want to get rid of you but I also didn’t want to bring a child into the world that wasn’t the child of the love of my life, and the one that to this day is still my friend with benefits and has no idea that he in fact is the love of my life

Anonymous in her 20s

Anonymous, UK

A Mild Inconvenience

Dear pill,

Thank you for turning my 7 day periods into 5 day ones. I just wish I had never decided to take you at 4pm everyday as that’s now very inconvenient. If I could suggest any future improvements, I’d ask that you please make my periods lighter, and maybe bring my sex drive back. Thanks babe x

Anonymous, England

Empowerment and Mood Swings

Dear copper IUD,

It's been 2 years now since we were introduced, and although we've had our ups and our downs, I have to say you make me feel so empowered. I think you made my mood swings worse (boo) but you've helped me enjoy sex more (yay) - all in all, I think we're pretty good together!

Emily, Sweden

There is Such a Thing as Too Big

Dear cervix,

Thank you for shielding my uterus from foreign invaders, but I really wish you weren’t in the way during sex. I can be sooo damn close to an orgasm, but a slightly wrong angle and you literally bring tears to my face, it hurts so damn bad. I can’t even remember how many times we had to stop in the middle of things, disappointed, but it hurt too much to carry on. I just wish you were a bit more accepting towards my partner, it would help a lot.

PS: To whomever said size doesn’t matter, it does. And there is such a thing as too big.

Anonymous, Slovenia

150 Days!

Dear my hormonal coil,

Thanks!! Thanks so much for 150 days now of no periods and no pain. Plus, it's lovely having a great and spontaneous sex life with my boyfriend.

It was weird at first, the idea of having something new inside me, and it did require an afternoon in bed when you were put in. But I'm so grateful!!

Love, Hannah

Hannah, UK

Dumped on the Pill

Dear pill,

I wish when I went on you all those years ago (10 years) that I knew you would mess with all my hormones and make it so when I come off the pill that I feel so much better, have a higher sex drive, not feel so messed up. Off the pill now I feel so much better and it's clear I wasn't taught what you could do even though I changed off a few pills for other side effects. Also being off the pill I am starting to learn about my body and what's normal where as for 10 years what I thought was normal was very wrong. Wish I had been given more education rather then just dumped on the pill.

Anonymous

Which is Worse?

Dear The Pill,

You have made my periods 4 days long instead of 7. You have made them lighter, and less painful, and more bearable, but you also cause me to have intense cramps in my cervix and pass clots big enough to fill my menstrual cup. You’ve stolen my sex drive and made my mood swings go wild, yet I feel addicted to you. I’m scared of what will happen if I come off of you, I’m scared the pain and length and heaviness of my periods will come back. I no longer know what’s worse. Heavy, painful, unbearable periods, or mood swings and a lack of sex drive which is threatening my relationship

Please sort it out.

Thanks

Charlotte, England