Knives Out

Dear vaginismus,

You’re the unwelcome guest in every aspect of my relationship. I’ve known for a while what you are but always ignored you blindly hoping you’d go away on your own, but there’s only so many times I can turn down sex. I don’t know where you came from, you never used to cause a problem but one day you made me feel like my insides were knives. I’d never heard about you before this, you’re taboo and I feel unworthy of suffering your wrath when I haven’t been assaulted or any of the other awful causes listed on health sites. I guess that makes you even more menacing, to not know what I could have done better to stop you. I’m terrified of what it’ll take to rid you from my life, but 2 years is too many and I need to take back control of my body. This is the start of the journey and years from now vaginismus, you’ll be a faint memory of something I kicked to the curb.

Georgia, England