Short Finger Problems

Dear Hormonal Coil,

I really appreciate the whole no kids thing and the few side effects, but would it be possible for this spotting to stop? It’s been 8 months and it’s getting a bit boring now, let’s change it up! How about some sore tits? Also, I have short fingers so let’s just hope you’re still up there while I can’t check, k?

Lots of love, my appreciative but mildly disgruntled uterus.

Georgia, England