Poof! A Baby!

Dear My Irregular Period,

My story starts all the way back in 2015. I had just married my husband and we decided together that I should stop taking the pill. I had been taking the pill for 3 years and the entire time I never felt like myself. I cried all the time and was very depressed. As soon as I stopped, I felt like my old self. It was amazing!
I began trying to track my fertility and soon realized I had very long/irregular cycles. Anywhere from 30-50 days. I began to do research and came across The Hormone Diaries in 2016! It was a great comfort watching Hannah navigate through same changes I was going through. For the next few years I would bring up my irregular cycles with my doctor at my annual exam. They ran a few blood tests and since everything was normal, they said there was nothing to worry about.

Cut to fall of 2020. My husband and I decided to start trying to conceive a baby. Luckily since I had tracked my fertility for so long, I was aware of when I would ovulate.

Poof!

After a month I was pregnant! We were overjoyed. But unfortunately it was short lived. That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 6 weeks. It was very hard. However, I was not to be deterred from our mission of having a child.

Poof!

The next month we found out we were pregnant again! This time the baby stuck. And I am currently 35 weeks pregnant.

I will never know why that first baby didn’t work out. Was it my body? Is it something to do with my irregular cycles? Was something just not right with that embryo? The questions still linger. But for now, I just focus on this special time in my life where we are about to welcome our baby boy very soon!

Faye, USA

A Secret Miscarriage

Dear miscarriage,

You caused me heartbreak, you caused me pain. I didn't know I was pregnant until I had you. At first I was confused, it wasnt time for my period and I didn't know I missed one because I'm on birth control and skipped the withdrawal bleeding. But soon it became apparent that you weren't a period. I called my doctor and they said it was most likely a miscarriage, but because of COVID-19 they didn't want me to come in to the office. Besides the doctor only one person knows, my best friend. Not even my friends with benefits (who would have been the dad), I was away at the time, I was staying with my mom so he didn't know anything was wrong. I know I should have/should tell him but I can't. I'm not afraid he'll be mad at me, because that's not who he is but I know that news would stress him out... Miscarriage I feel both heartbroken and also relieved by you. I'm not ready to be a mom, I'm only 22. I can't be a mother, I don't even know how to take care of myself most days...

Sincerely,
A stressed out 22 year old
Anonymous, Canada