One Day…

Dear Pregnancy,

Thank you for letting me grow this tiny human, just please can I have ONE day without a hormonal breakdown and achey boobs? Thank you!

Molly, UK

Unprepared

Dear Post-Partum period,

Unfortunately, this was something I was very ill informed about, even through the hospital, and throughout my entire pregnancy! I didn’t expect to be in so much pain, but also having to deal with all this mess alongside. It was definitely worth it, but my how I wish it was spoken more about. At least I’ll know for next time!!

Laura, England

Unprepared

Dear school sex ed,

Why did you never teach us what to do if we have a pregnancy scare ? And teach us to feel ashamed about it ?

Bea, England

I Will Still Be Me

Dear pregnancy,

Like a work project with someone you can't stand dragging on and on, pregnancy you have been a nessasary evil for the last 8 months. I can't believe I still have minimum of four weeks with you. I have never felt so out of control in my own body. I didn't even plan to work with you this early in my life but here we are.

I very nearly stopped working with you in the beginning, it wasn't the plan. I couldn't decide what was the right choice. Maybe that put us off on the wrong foot straight away.

People ask me if I am excited to meet the baby we have grown together and I am not. I am just excited to not be pregnant any more.

The hormones you have pumped into me have made me miserable. I am so fed up of feeling sick all the time, not being able to breathe because you have squashed all my organs, itchy nipples, thrush, migraines, low iron levels, back ache, brain fog - the list seems endless.

I feel as though this big bump you have strapped to me has made people forget I am a person in my own right. People are more than happy to prod and poke me, family members pointing and commenting on bump size, how they think I will cope with birth, and motherhood. Health care professionals telling me what procedures they will be performing, no suggestions of informed consent, just you will be induced at this date, you will have this blood test, you will give birth at this place, you will have a vaginal exam now.

I have even lost my own name as everyone only seems to refer to me as "mummy" now. I'm not "mummy" I am still me, and I will still be me even when my baby is born. You have given me such fear that I will resent my baby because of how unhappy and uncomfortable I have felt the entire time you have been with me.

I know we will most likely meet again, probably in the not too distant future, but I have not enjoyed spending time with you the "glow" is a lie and I can't wait to eat brie again.

I hope for both our sakes this last month passes quickly and uneventfully,

Hannah

Hannah, England

I Just Want a Baby

Dear Sex Ed Teachers / Films,

Why did you make it seem like getting pregnant would happen so easily? I know you had to be careful and warn people about unwanted pregnancies, but when you hit your late twenties and actually want a baby, it's disheartening to learn just how small the window is each month that you can fall pregnant!

Why didn't you tell me about chemical pregnancies and early miscarriages? Why didn't you talk about ovulation and the different days of my cycle?

I don't feel I should only be learning this now. I just want a baby and no one warned me it could be this frustrating!

Thanks for trying?...
Hopeful-Mum-To-Be

Anonymous, England

If I’d Never Had You

Dear Termination,

You were physically so much easier than I thought, just 2 small pills, some pessaries and a huge "period". Emotionally though not so much. I've spent years of my life being ashamed of you convinced you were to blame for my run of bad luck. I hated myself because of you. But if I'd never had you, I would never have gone on to have my son. I wouldn't have my relationship. Or my current job. Maybe, one day, I should thank you instead.

Xx

Anonymous, UK

Love, Abortion, Mamma Mia

Dear Abortion,

You were something I thought long and hard about, not something I wanted to do. You were something I had to do. You were the product of the post-break up “off the rails” stage of my life. There were 4 possible fathers I could choose from for you. One was the father I want for my children but the risk of it all was too high. I didn’t want to get rid of you but I also didn’t want to bring a child into the world that wasn’t the child of the love of my life, and the one that to this day is still my friend with benefits and has no idea that he in fact is the love of my life

Anonymous in her 20s

Anonymous, UK

Focusing on the Important Stuff

Dear IUD,

After having my son, I needed to find a birth control that wouldn’t mess with my milk supply. I got the IUD and not only did it not effect my milk but I don’t have to worry about periods or getting pregnant. It really freed my mind so I could focus on being a mom and being present with my son.

Jess, Canada

You Picked a Taurus

Dear Heavy Menses:

Couldn't you have warned me first? Coming in a fury with headaches, nausea, cramps, bloating, hot and cold flashes, night sweats, even if I was out and about.

Why would you just do me like that making me miserable for days with blood clots, heavy bleeding, and dehydration requiring IV fluids?

Did you think that was funny having to get iron infusions and B12 injections in the ER for microcytic hypochromic anaemia?

You thought you won didn't you? You thought you beat me, RIGHT?

WRONG!

I met so many wonderful warriors in the Henry Cancer Center who also were fighting just like me.

Because truly being winded just walking up steps is no fun and we ladies want to play.

Sure, you might've thought when the doctor told me I was computer diagnosed with HUS (Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome) at 46 years of age - You figured I got her now- because you started it all....

But you can't win against someone who never gives up!

The choice is not yours to make it's mine and I just turned 47 having almost left this menopause world behind me. Your clock is ticking my friend.

Your time is almost up.

Meanwhile, I have been working diligently to get my weight in check, get my blood tests under control along with my blood pressure and pre diabetes-thank you BMP and CBC- but more importantly I won't go out with sinus tachycardia nor any EKG test -nor even a d-dimer or troponin high will do it.

You see you picked a Taurus!

We don't give up.

You don't realize the power of staying in faith after already having almost died in childbirth with a placenta abruptio and a son born with vater syndrome.

You have no idea I was already under significant stress -having divorced a malignant narcissist in 2013, and was left bankrupt, homeless, extreme poverty, and LT unemployed unable to get re-employed after raising 3 kids for past 20 years solo with a dual masters and 20 yrs of community service being awarded the highest our nation offers -Points of Light awardee- Thank you President George H.W. Bush (41st President of the USA)

You picked the wrong woman to mess with.

I won't put up with bullies like you.

I will win!

See you at the finish line my friend where I will be the one still standing strong as that beautiful 400 year old oak in my backyard which I'm now allergic too along with June grass.

Life is not measured in how many things you accomplished but in how many times you got knocked down and jumped right back up.

I'm here to tell you it's over between us. Take your friends with you and go.

With all my love,
Donna

Donna, USA

Poof! A Baby!

Dear My Irregular Period,

My story starts all the way back in 2015. I had just married my husband and we decided together that I should stop taking the pill. I had been taking the pill for 3 years and the entire time I never felt like myself. I cried all the time and was very depressed. As soon as I stopped, I felt like my old self. It was amazing!
I began trying to track my fertility and soon realized I had very long/irregular cycles. Anywhere from 30-50 days. I began to do research and came across The Hormone Diaries in 2016! It was a great comfort watching Hannah navigate through same changes I was going through. For the next few years I would bring up my irregular cycles with my doctor at my annual exam. They ran a few blood tests and since everything was normal, they said there was nothing to worry about.

Cut to fall of 2020. My husband and I decided to start trying to conceive a baby. Luckily since I had tracked my fertility for so long, I was aware of when I would ovulate.

Poof!

After a month I was pregnant! We were overjoyed. But unfortunately it was short lived. That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 6 weeks. It was very hard. However, I was not to be deterred from our mission of having a child.

Poof!

The next month we found out we were pregnant again! This time the baby stuck. And I am currently 35 weeks pregnant.

I will never know why that first baby didn’t work out. Was it my body? Is it something to do with my irregular cycles? Was something just not right with that embryo? The questions still linger. But for now, I just focus on this special time in my life where we are about to welcome our baby boy very soon!

Faye, USA

Fear of Pregnancy

Dear my progesterone-only pill,

When I first started taking you four years ago I was so relieved I wouldn’t be dealing with my monthly visit from Aunty Flo anymore. You took away my pain and discomfort! However, I don’t know if what you gave me instead was worth it... the crippling anxiety, the constant fear that - even though I was TAKING THE PILL - I would definitely get pregnant, and feverishly take test after test, even though the bf and I are always careful. I would burst into tears with every negative result, even though that is...what...I...wanted? To this day anxiety follows me around like a nasty smell. Can’t get rid of it. The fear of pregnancy is what keeps me from kicking you to the curb. So while I thank you for keeping the physical pain at bay, you SUCK for giving me the mental and emotional pain of constant worry. In a few years, when bf and I want to start a family, you are OUTTA HERE.

Chessy, UK

A Secret Miscarriage

Dear miscarriage,

You caused me heartbreak, you caused me pain. I didn't know I was pregnant until I had you. At first I was confused, it wasnt time for my period and I didn't know I missed one because I'm on birth control and skipped the withdrawal bleeding. But soon it became apparent that you weren't a period. I called my doctor and they said it was most likely a miscarriage, but because of COVID-19 they didn't want me to come in to the office. Besides the doctor only one person knows, my best friend. Not even my friends with benefits (who would have been the dad), I was away at the time, I was staying with my mom so he didn't know anything was wrong. I know I should have/should tell him but I can't. I'm not afraid he'll be mad at me, because that's not who he is but I know that news would stress him out... Miscarriage I feel both heartbroken and also relieved by you. I'm not ready to be a mom, I'm only 22. I can't be a mother, I don't even know how to take care of myself most days...

Sincerely,
A stressed out 22 year old
Anonymous, Canada

Thanks but No Thanks

Dear Vaginismus,

You will not beat me! Ever since the ectropion made sex no fun and I had to have the cysts on my cervix cauterised you've hung around.

In some ways, I should thank you; you've brought my partner and me closer together and made our relationship about more than being physically intimate. In other ways, I wish we'd been able to have a normal sex life during my 20s ...

Now that I'm 30 we're working on having a family and with him at my side, we will overcome you. So thanks but no thanks. Goodbye!

Anonymous, UK