Third Time Lucky

Dear progestogen-only pill,

Thank you for being you. For letting me have sex with less fear of getting pregnant. For letting me have regular periods, even though you are progestogen only and that is against the odds. You are the third pill that I have been on - so far, third time lucky. My periods are still just as painful and heavy as usual as they are when I wasn't taking you, but I can just about deal with that.

Thank you for being you.

Yours,
Melissa

Melissa, UK

We’ll Meet Again

Dear pill,

Thank you for everything you've done for me, from not getting pregnant to helping me with acne. But I have to let you go now, I didn't know you could make me feel sad or nauseous. Maybe we will meet again some other time.

Myrtle, Greece

Long-Ass Cycle

Dear my period cycle,

We’ve been on a long and hard journey together. Even from a young age, your irregularity scared me. Before I started the pill at age 16, my last cycle was 54 days long and that was before I started having sex. More recently at age 19, I stopped the pill (and switched to condoms) and you took 60 days to arrive AND you bleed through my jeans. You really scared me. Even when I know I am not pregnant. So now I’m back on the pill, thanks a lot to my period cycle.

Rachel, Scotland

Safety

Dear the Pill,

You helped me handle the worst cramping, heavy flow and PMS for almost 5 years before my body rejected you (development of melasma). But you also kept me safe from pregnancy during 3 years of an abusive relationship, you meant I never had to make a tough decision about whether to keep a baby. I am now free and safe, and protected by an implant until the day comes that making such a decision is my choice and mine alone. Thank you.

Anonymous, Switzerland

WTF Hormones

Dear hormones,

You are such a mystery to me. You make me feel great, you make me feel strange and you make me have the weirdest symptoms. Sometimes I don’t like you, I don’t understand you. After coming off the pill, I’m discovering you all over again. I hope we can become good friends. Don’t be too hard on me. I’ll try to do the same.

Much love and confusion.

– Abril

Abril, Argentina

A Mild Inconvenience

Dear pill,

Thank you for turning my 7 day periods into 5 day ones. I just wish I had never decided to take you at 4pm everyday as that’s now very inconvenient. If I could suggest any future improvements, I’d ask that you please make my periods lighter, and maybe bring my sex drive back. Thanks babe x

Anonymous, England

Copper Beads

Dear IUB,

Wow, what an invention you are! When the pill was driving me insane and turning me into a crazy woman, I didn’t know what to do. Then when my doctor told me about a copper bead IUD, I just had to get you. With you, I know who I am. With you, I’m normal hormonal me - none of that fake stuff thanks! With you, I’m 99% protected against pregnancy. Thank you for existing, my copper IUB.

Kristina, Poland

A Forced Break

Dear the Pill.

We started our relationship when I was 14. I just wanted something to stop my horrendous period pain so I could have a month without fainting and being sick. And you did it! But, I feel like over the last ten years we've changed from how we used to be. Instead of making me happy I don't know how you make me feel, because I don't remember how I felt before you. I was scared to leave you though. And suddenly you weren't available, and I was forced to take a break. And I feel so much lighter and happier and more free. I'm glad of our time together, but now we have to explore other options. I wish you well!

Lucy, UK

I Am Strong

Dear copper coil,

I still vividly remember how painful it was to get you, the following 24 hrs where it was hard to stand and I wanted to be sick. My periods got longer, bloodier and so much more painful. Yet I fought to get you. Doctors told me it wasn't advisable as I'd never given birth, I'd had bad periods before which meant I would probably not have an easy time with you. But I was determined to try.

I had been on the combined pill, my first contraceptive, for a year and I felt so relieved that my periods had finally become predictable. They still hurt but they were short, less bloody. It took a long time for me to realise my mind was affected instead. The doctor said my depressive feelings were only a result of Masters year stress, not the pill. I had to wait to till the year was over. I believed her. It didn't get better. I returned and requested a new method of contraceptive, one that didn't make me a ball of anxiety if I took it half an hour late. She suggested the implant, a progesterone-only contraceptive that would go in my arm and last for 3 years. Perfect I thought, it was a year and a half later as I fell into a depression related to work pressure that I discovered through my own research that progesterone is linked to low mood side effects. I had periods that lasted weeks, I became anaemic and my hair thinned. It took months to get the implant removed.

A new doctor, a new combined pill, this had a lower dose of progesterone and my periods came back under control, I even hoped my mood was a little better. However, I was badly depressed, going to counselling and taking antidepressants, I was desperate to do anything to lighten the strain. I started looking at non-hormonal contraceptives.

Condoms only terrified me, I never want to be pregnant. That left the copper coil. I was advised toward the hormonal progesterone coil, "It's a low localised dose, fewer side effects, like only taking two pills a week". I was unmoved, I knew my body now. I got almost every side effect on the progesterone implant, I knew this meant the hormonal coil wouldn't lessen my periods, so what benefit was there if it continued to add to my depression? I had to know how bad my mental state really was, free from hormones.

So I got you, the 5-year copper IUD, and they had not been sugar-coating the insertion pain (next time, I want stronger pain medication than two paracetamol). But I'm functioning better, my depression is still here but I have only had one panic attack in the last 3 months since I got you. The mental space dedicated to fear of missed contraceptives is now free. My periods suck but I'm taking the physical pain over mental pain joyfully. I've got prescription pain killers as of my fourth month of coil periods, something I should have asked for as a teenager when I missed school due to period pain.

So, dear copper IUD, thank you. You showed me I could stick up for myself, that my mental health was a valid factor and it's ok to ask for help and a second opinion until a better solution is found. There are no medals for crying in pain so I kicked my pride out the window and asked for painkillers that would actually do something. In an odd way, you taught me to stop punishing myself, even if you do hurt like f**k.

Thanks for showing me I'm strong.

Anonymous, Northern Ireland

A Craze and a Mess

Dear The Pill,

Thank you to the doctors for not letting me know that you would make me more insulin resistant before I went on you, making me have to inject more or the stuff that keeps me alive, thank you for sending my sugar levels in a craze and making it more of a mess to keep in check.

Anonymous, Scotland

F-U

Dear Pill,

I wish I had listened to my gut and just said no to you. Although the certainty of birth control was great, it was definitely not worth the massive weight gain, hormone imbalances and fertility struggles I’m facing post taking you. Honestly, F-U.

Love,
Ana

Ana, Slovenia

On/Off Relationship

Dear the Pill,

We have a rocky relationship.

Seeing each other on and off for years. Sometimes I think we are great together, in many ways you make my life a hell of a lot easier, we share the same interests, most notably an active interest in not getting pregnant.

But you also bring out the worst in me. You play with my emotions, manipulate my thoughts, with you I am tearful and angry and feel out of control.

My friends tell me I should leave you, to realise we aren't good together and find another contraceptive partner. But I'm scared to let you go. There may be plenty more fish in the sea, but there are definitely not plenty more contraceptives. While our relationship is undoubtedly toxic, it feels comfortable and familiar and safe.

That being said, maybe it is time to move on. Maybe it's time to find a contraception that does not abuse my trust and manipulate my mind.

So, Pill, hear me when I say,

It's not me, it's you.

Georgie, UK

Falling Through the Cracks

Dear pill,

It's been 2 years I'm no longer taking you, and I couldn't be happier about it. Being totally honest, I would love to stop using condoms, but at least they don't have unpredictable side effects. Just to let you know - my horrible migraines went away. I don't feel miserable anymore. I don't panic anymore if I don't have my migraine medication with me. I don't cry in pain on the bathroom floor after having vomited for the 3rd time in a row, and - most importantly - I don't have to figure out what's wrong with me on my own. My libido is back too, I just feel more alive, more connected to my body. Dear pill, for someone you might be life-saving. But for me you aren't the right choice.

Dear doctors....

Why did I fall through the cracks of the health system? Why didn't you talk to me about possible side effects? Why, when I've got migraines, you didn't connect the dots? Why did you tell me it's all due to genetics and put me on another medication which gave me hallucinations? I was so scared.

I'm free now. No more migraines, no more anxiety about having one, no more hallucinations.

Best,
X

Anonymous, France

Dumped on the Pill

Dear pill,

I wish when I went on you all those years ago (10 years) that I knew you would mess with all my hormones and make it so when I come off the pill that I feel so much better, have a higher sex drive, not feel so messed up. Off the pill now I feel so much better and it's clear I wasn't taught what you could do even though I changed off a few pills for other side effects. Also being off the pill I am starting to learn about my body and what's normal where as for 10 years what I thought was normal was very wrong. Wish I had been given more education rather then just dumped on the pill.

Anonymous

Which is Worse?

Dear The Pill,

You have made my periods 4 days long instead of 7. You have made them lighter, and less painful, and more bearable, but you also cause me to have intense cramps in my cervix and pass clots big enough to fill my menstrual cup. You’ve stolen my sex drive and made my mood swings go wild, yet I feel addicted to you. I’m scared of what will happen if I come off of you, I’m scared the pain and length and heaviness of my periods will come back. I no longer know what’s worse. Heavy, painful, unbearable periods, or mood swings and a lack of sex drive which is threatening my relationship

Please sort it out.

Thanks

Charlotte, England

My Shield

Dear my little pill,

Thank you for becoming my shield against my endometriosis. You have fixed many things and I am grateful to have my life back again. Sometimes I take you for granted and it can get annoying taking a pill every day at the same time and the occasional mood drop can become tiresome. But then I have a break and the pain, nausea, fatigue and pain (again) reminds me that I have a remedy for most of the days of the year and the fact that (for me at least) it is just a little pill is actually very cool. You have even decreased my symptoms of PTSD which is an added bit of fabulous.

Thank you v much,

Anonymous

Toxic Relationship

Dear Combined Pill,

It's been a couple of months. I'm not sure who's to blame for our breakup - I guess it wasn't your fault that you made my body form blood clots in my lungs, but I'm finally realising it wasn't my fault either. I just wish someone had been able tell me we were in a toxic relationship before I had to be hospitalised.

Regards, Melissa

Melissa, UK

Like Clockwork

Dear Pill,

Thank you for halving the amount of pads I have to use each period and for taking the stress of not knowing when my period will show up!

Thank you for minimising the back pain and cramps I used to get but had to ignore!

Thank you for making life just a little bit easier to deal with by taking the period stress away making it all work like clockwork!

Sincerely, Me

Kate, UK

Pre-Pill

Dear Pill,

I am glad to say that I’ve just celebrated a year without you in my life after two and a half difficult years with you in it. Despite protecting me from pregnancy, you caused many changes to my mind and to my body that really hurt me. You caused me to retain water, go through worse periods than pre-pill life, and lead to me spiralling into depression. I was not happy in myself at all. Things have changed a lot and I feel like my pre-pill self again (finally!).
You really won’t be missed, condoms are much better for me now!

Georgia, UK

A Tale of Three Relationships

Dear Pills, Implant and Needle,

You were my life line in the fight against not getting pregnant for 10 years, I started with the pill at 16 years old and you were great, you made sure that my period was always on time and that I wasn't in a ton of pain all the time, and we were great until life got busy in college and I kept forgetting to take you, and it was scary, so I did research, and found the implant. You were a little match stick that sat in my arm, you weren't uncomfortable, and I could feel you under my skin, which was fine. But after a 5 week long period.... We needed to break up.

Along came the needle, you were ideal, 12 weeks between shots, no period, only a short pain after getting done, it sounded perfect. well, we broke up in March after a year because I wanted to know what I was like off artificial hormones, and well… still no period? Where'd she go?

Sincerely,
Just looking for my Period.

Anonymous, Ireland