Focusing on the Important Stuff

Dear IUD,

After having my son, I needed to find a birth control that wouldn’t mess with my milk supply. I got the IUD and not only did it not effect my milk but I don’t have to worry about periods or getting pregnant. It really freed my mind so I could focus on being a mom and being present with my son.

Jess, Canada

Managing PCOS

Dear (possible) PCOS,

You suck!
The weight gain and the inability to lose weight sucks. The excess hair that has made me self conscious since I was young sucks. The intense period pain sucks.

Luckily, finding a diet that works in lockdown by reducing the sugar I eat and exercise has meant that I've managed to lose a stone so far and I'm no longer classed as obese! Now to finding a method of coping with the rest!

Thank you to my hormonal coil for helping with this so far. Gone from having around a 60 day cycle on the implant to a 30 day one on the coil! Big up the coil!!

Here's to the future and managing the rest!

Cait

Caitlin, UK

Funny Story

Dear IUD,

The 10 seconds of pain putting you in is well worth the lighter periods and sex (especially the sex). My anxiety is lessened about unplanned pregnancy thanks to you. Plus, you gave me that funny story about the med student who was so excited when I told her she could look at my vagina too instead of just politely standing by the door unable to see anything.

Chris, USA

Narcolepsy and Contraception

Dear Narcolepsy,

You couldn’t just let me get you under control easily could you? I was prescribed Modafinil to control you but of course a medication you’re definitely not meant to get pregnant whilst taking, interacts with the combined pill. Just before you came into my life, I was finally happy with the pill, I could take it all the time to stop my periods, it never let me down. I looked for a new form of contraception but the lack of research around you and Modafinil in young women didn’t make it easy.

I gave up trying to figure out what hormonal contraceptives may or may not be affected, and gave into the Copper Coil. It was a nightmare to get an appointment to get it fitted, and I had a very painful few days at the beginning, but despite that I feel better than ever.

I feel so much more in tune with my body. We have a good relationship now. And even you Narcolepsy, you annoying, inconvenient disease, I feel like we’re on the same level now. We get each other now. So thank you for forcing me to think about my contraception and thank you for pushing me to get the coil. I know I’ll have to put up with you whether I like it or not for the rest of my life and I accept that now.

I’m sure we’ll make it work.

April - whose brain you inhabit

April, UK

Flaws in the System

Dear endometriosis,

You first showed up in the form of me having intense pain during penetrative sex. Then I started to become ill every time I had my period while I was on the pill. Then with the hormonal coil, I was finally getting a bit of a break from you for a few years but you sure as hell worked your way through that to the point where I was in debilitating pain. At my lowest, I had full blown contraction level cramps for two weeks straight. However, I don't blame you.

I blame the doctors who did not take me seriously for so long. Who eventually sent me to a psychologist to fix my pain, which was impossible and left me feeling terribly guilty about not improving. I blame the >20 medical professionals I saw over the years who never thought about endometriosis as a possible explanation for my symptoms, I blame the medical system that severely fails to fund research on bodies with uteruses and basically any body that does not belong to a white able-bodied man. I blame the "endo specialists" I saw when I finally figured out on my own that I have endo and then dismissed me based on incorrect arguments (which I learned thanks to the Hormone Diaries community, massive shout out to all of you).

Thankfully with help of this community I finally got the help I needed. Now, a few months after surgery I am stomach pain free, my bowels begin to function more normally again and with physio therapy and psychological therapy I can finally work through my medical traumas, and start getting my body and life back. I hope I never feel you again, don't take it personally but you're quite literally a pain in the ass.

xoxo, your host

Anonymous, The Netherlands

Misunderstood Legend

Dear Birth Control,

The mini-pill? You're a misunderstood legend that just wasnt right for me. You stopped my period but were a lot of effort, gave me acne and made my hair fall out.

Sorry we didn't work out.

Combined-pill? You and I were once perfect for each other, but after my experience with the mini, you turned on me. After 3 weeks of excruciating leg pain to the point that I couldn't walk/sit/stand without taking a heavy dose of prescription painkillers (and a doctor pointing out it could be "a touch of endometriosis" in my legs that was triggered, I decided to end things. You weren't worth my suffering, I had a degree to finish and a life to live.

To my current beau, the hormonal coil. You are a blessing disguised by my uterus. Yes we have our ups and downs (the horrendous acne, hairfall and cramps for the first few months, and you giving my boyfriend’s penis a prod on occasion), but I'm down for the long term commitment if you promise not to be a dick for too much longer. I don’t believe in soul mates or "the one" but you might be the closest I've gotten to it so far.

All that said, to all of my birth controls, I appreciate your service. You will never be forgotten, and I will always remember that you stopped me from reproducing when I didn’t (and currently don’t) want to.

Lots of love,
Hannah

Hannah, Scotland

Contraception Choices Minefield

Dear my pill,

I started taking you at age 16 and it was golden from the off. We never had a disagreement over the next 6 years. They have since stopped making you and I am heartbroken. I have tried other pills, I am currently on the hormonal coil and, given the constant bleeding I have experienced on the coil (it’s been 7 months), I have gone on the pill again to help settle it down. I want desperately for the coil to suit me and to replace you but I am feeling drained and without hope. Having access to so many options today is wonderful and a privilege, but I cannot help being angry that it is such a minefield. Bodies, eh? For anyone reading, though, if you choose to go on the hormonal coil ask your doctor about going on the pill/staying on the pill at the same time. Apparently this helps your body get used to the coil quicker and you should be able to stop taking it after 3 months. This would have helped me. We just all need to work together to make sure everyone is as informed as they can be!

My heart goes out to anyone else who used the same pill as me and misses her as much as I do. Stay safe!

Natasha, UK

Not Worth It

Dear Pill,

I was made to go on you when I was getting sexually active, and it was great. We had a lovely time together. But over the years, you made me feel nothing, made me paranoid, made my mental health reach an all time low. The fear of pregnancy and the joy of being able to control when I would have my period wasn't worth it anymore.

I was beginning to hate you.

I would forget taking you in the morning.

I was beginning to think that this wasn't worth it anymore.

I had to think of another way to prevent pregnancy.

So goodbye, Pill.

I have moved on to the IUD. The pain in the beginning was worth it, my mental health feels so much better

Anonymous, UK

No Side Effects

Dear Copper IUD,

I am grateful that you cause no side effects that harm my body at the expense of protecting me from an unwanted pregnancy.

Love Karen x

Karen, UK

Depressed and Horny

Dear the implant,

I had you fitted in 2016, you were my best friend for almost 3 years. You stopped me from getting pregnant, and you stopped my periods.

But you did sometimes scare me and give me fake pregnancy symptoms.

When it was August 2018 everything changed. My boyfriend and I were about to go to Spain for my birthday, I was out with my mum shopping for a new bikini, but then everything changed. I tried on the bikini bottom over my knickers and I had a feeling something had changed, I had this warm feeling that my period had started. I didn’t have any signs I was about to come on and I wasn’t prepared at all.

I went and bought some pads hoping it would stop before we went away. But it didn’t. Luckily my boyfriends mum had some pills to stop it so I took one on the morning we flew and every morning we were there until we came back.
When we came back we went down to my boyfriend’s nan’s, I went for a wee thinking my period had stopped as you do. But it came back and then I didn’t have anything on me, and I didn’t have any money on me, I asked my boyfriend’s auntie and she didn’t have anything, his uncle pulled me over to one side and took me down to the shop and bought me some pads. I felt rather embarrassed but he said it’s ok, every woman gets them it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

My period didn’t stop for 9 months, my implant was causing me pain and faint spells, but no matter how many times I went to the doctors they wouldn’t remove it. They gave me the pill that works along side it but that didn’t work.

Eventually I had you removed, and found a new best friend the hormonal coil.

So dear implant you are and will no longer be my best friend. You hurt me, caused me pain and to pass out. You caused my iron to be low, you caused me to have no sex life at all. You hurt my feelings, you made me crazy for months, you made me hate myself daily, you made me depressed and yet so horny and flustered. I hate you I hate you I hate you. And I’m glad you are no longer in my life.

Molly, UK

“Ride It Out”

Dear Implant,

How blind sighted I was when you promised me a spot free face and light periods. How low and confused, and sad I was when, after you were implanted, I cried everyday and didn't know why. My once upbeat optimism shot down in a flux of progesterone. I know they say, wait 6 months. I know they tell you, there are always going to be side affects. But surely it doesn't have to be this way? Surely contraception shouldn't have you feeling at your lowest low with doctors telling you to just "ride it out?". After pleading with my doctor, you were removed. I felt lighter. I felt me. I didn't know the reasons I had been feeling so blue were because of you.

Dear Coil,

THANK YOU. Hormone-free, decade long contraception. I've found my other half. We still have qualms (8 day periods... really?) and contraception research has a long way to go, but thank you for showing me that hormones are not the only option.

Love, Paige

Paige, England

Love My IUD

Dear IUD,

I love you.

Sydney, Canada

You Could Have Warned Me

Dear IUD,

I got you to stop my periods and hopefully the pain that comes with them from my endo and you do that well! I can work and go for walks on my period now, and my bleeding is very light.

That said, why didn't my doc warn me that my first period with you would be so much worse? I was so freaked out when I was in more pain than normal and when I called the doctor she said it was 'not unusual'.

It would also be nice if you could convince my PMS to leave, but the lack of bleeding is enough for now.

Anonymous, Australia

Praise Be the Good Tenant

Dear my copper coil,

After almost a decade of taking the contraceptive pill, you brought peace to my mind and body. How often have I been worried about forgetting the pill or it not working because I’d get sick or, or, or… I changed the pill due to my acne many times (spoiler: it didn’t do anything for it). But not with you, I don’t have such worries anymore. You have brought a new sense of myself, about my body and cycle to me. I am sometimes still excited about what my body manages from month to month. I am grateful for you doing your work, quietly in the background. Once a year we actually see each other at my gynaecological check-up where you are praised for being a good tenant.

You sit safely and nicely in my uterus. You have rented that place for 5 years of which 3 are over by now. In two years, I am afraid, you have to move out. Even though I will miss you, I am looking forward for the contract to expire. Then we will have gotten our money’s worth and can finally think about getting pregnant. 
I already thank you for the time we got to spend together and who knows, maybe at some point, I’ll get you replaced. But you will always have a special place in my heart for giving the most relaxed years when it comes to my contraception.

Yours, Luisa
Luisa, Germany

Halloween Coil Buddies

Dear my coil,

Ever since I got you on the 31st of October 2019 I have been feeling like myself again. After being on the pill for two years you brought me relief and a sense of comfort. You help me with not getting pregnant and not having to deal with my period (well for the last four months anyway). Getting you has been one of the best decisions I've made for myself and it's partly thanks to The Hormone Diaries I found out about you. So thank you coil, for being Hannah's contraceptive of choice and therefore introducing me to it. And as a full circle kind of moment I really liked that we got to meet exactly two years after our matchmakers met for the first time. I really owe a lot to you and this is my way of saying thank you!

Love, Sofia

Sofia, Sweden

Freedom!

Dear IUD,

You changed my life.
No more periods.
No more worrying whether I was pregnant or not.
No more mood swings.
No more 10am alarm to remind me to take the pill.
Yes you were a little annoying to get, but you are freedom!
Your grateful friend xx

Anonymous, Australia

“I Can’t Find Your Cervix!”

Dear retroverted uterus,

Why? Just why?

You have made my life so much harder for no reason. I have always had horrifically painful periods and was on the pill for 6 years straight and so I had the hormonal coil inserted a couple of years ago when I was 17. Luckily, it was inserted during a laparoscopic surgery investigating endometriosis, which was deemed inconclusive. So this meant I was under general anesthetic and didnt feel a thing- perfect! When I came round, the was no mention of my retroverted uterus on the notes just that the coil had been inserted.

Flash forward to a month or two later, to my examination at the GPs to find to my horror that the pelvic exam HURT LIKE CRAZY! I had been told it would be uncomfortable but not agonising like I was experiencing. I had never had sex before so it was extremely scary to begin with, let alone the fact it was really painful. The lovely nurse discovered I had a retroverted uterus, that was somehow not picked up but she could not find my cervix to check if the coil was in the correct place. It took half an hour with me writhing on the table, only for her to say "I really can't find it, I can't find where your cervix is". I was sent away with the advice that it was probably in the right spot and once I have sex for the first time, it will be much easier and less painful.

So thanks to you Uterus, I have a coil situated somewhere in my body, and the expectation and pressure to have sex so I can be in less pain during examinations. Thanks a lot.

Signed, your unhappy friend,
Freya

Freya, UK