Flaws in the System

Dear endometriosis,

You first showed up in the form of me having intense pain during penetrative sex. Then I started to become ill every time I had my period while I was on the pill. Then with the hormonal coil, I was finally getting a bit of a break from you for a few years but you sure as hell worked your way through that to the point where I was in debilitating pain. At my lowest, I had full blown contraction level cramps for two weeks straight. However, I don't blame you.

I blame the doctors who did not take me seriously for so long. Who eventually sent me to a psychologist to fix my pain, which was impossible and left me feeling terribly guilty about not improving. I blame the >20 medical professionals I saw over the years who never thought about endometriosis as a possible explanation for my symptoms, I blame the medical system that severely fails to fund research on bodies with uteruses and basically any body that does not belong to a white able-bodied man. I blame the "endo specialists" I saw when I finally figured out on my own that I have endo and then dismissed me based on incorrect arguments (which I learned thanks to the Hormone Diaries community, massive shout out to all of you).

Thankfully with help of this community I finally got the help I needed. Now, a few months after surgery I am stomach pain free, my bowels begin to function more normally again and with physio therapy and psychological therapy I can finally work through my medical traumas, and start getting my body and life back. I hope I never feel you again, don't take it personally but you're quite literally a pain in the ass.

xoxo, your host

Anonymous, The Netherlands