Copper Beads

Dear IUB,

Wow, what an invention you are! When the pill was driving me insane and turning me into a crazy woman, I didn’t know what to do. Then when my doctor told me about a copper bead IUD, I just had to get you. With you, I know who I am. With you, I’m normal hormonal me - none of that fake stuff thanks! With you, I’m 99% protected against pregnancy. Thank you for existing, my copper IUB.

Kristina, Poland

No Worries

Dear the hormonal coil, the best IUD

Thank you for SAVING me from 8+ days of incredibly painful and heavy periods that made me wish I was a man. I no longer worry about being pregnant from having a 40+ day cycle too. It’s taken a huge load off my shoulders, pun intended.

Anonymous, Puerto Rico

A Forced Break

Dear the Pill.

We started our relationship when I was 14. I just wanted something to stop my horrendous period pain so I could have a month without fainting and being sick. And you did it! But, I feel like over the last ten years we've changed from how we used to be. Instead of making me happy I don't know how you make me feel, because I don't remember how I felt before you. I was scared to leave you though. And suddenly you weren't available, and I was forced to take a break. And I feel so much lighter and happier and more free. I'm glad of our time together, but now we have to explore other options. I wish you well!

Lucy, UK

Not Worth the Entrance Fee

Dear implant side affects,

I was warned of the side effects, it was highlighted that my periods may stop (no complaints there!) I might get headaches, feel sick and may experience mood swings.

Mood swings.

I was not warned just how bad the mood swings would be, you seemed to cause a complete personality change rather than just a few ups and downs. It started slowly, I was more irritable and I said this will pass. I would cry at nothing and then in the middle of that burst into laughter, this will pass I said. Irritable changed into irrational anger, I said let me check with the doctor.

I was assured that this was normal and if I just waited long enough everything would even out, so I agreed that I would wait until the 6 month mark. As I waited I became more and more angry and aggressive with everyone, I cried a lot, the sound of my partner doing mundane day to day tasks made me feel so angry I would have to leave the room before I started screaming about whatever it was.

How exactly was that all perfectly normal?

While it did level out and I have had 2 and half years blissfully without periods it was not worth the entrance fee.

Thanks for showing me that hormonal contraception is not for me.

Bianca, UK

I <3 My Coil

Dear coil,

Thank you for giving me the other three weeks of the month to me. Stopping the migraines, tsunami blood flow and saving me so much money in tampons and pads, (because I had to change both every hour to avoid the tsunami). I’m not sure how I got to 33 without you. My boobs only hurt a little bit now, and my painkiller taking has gone down. I was on strong painkillers, which clot my blood enough that I could use a menstrual cup and a pad. Now I only need a night time one at night, and normal middle ones for day time, only needing to empty the cup three times a day.

Since I had you inserted I have been able to have a light coloured bottom sheet since I don’t bleed out in the night. I keep running through pms, my period (always had to have a week off for that) and the weeks recovery without injury as I couldn’t feel it due to the drugs.

I only get the odd cramp, and my diarrhea is solved.

I have a few extra spots, but nothing as bad as when I ate cheese and milk and ice cream and store bought cake. Or soya. Or monosodium glutamate.

And have I gotten a little chunky due to quarantine or is it you? We shall never know.

There’s no going back now. How did I drive to work when my vision was swimming? How am I alive!

Sincerely
I<3my coil

Anonymous, UK

I Am Strong

Dear copper coil,

I still vividly remember how painful it was to get you, the following 24 hrs where it was hard to stand and I wanted to be sick. My periods got longer, bloodier and so much more painful. Yet I fought to get you. Doctors told me it wasn't advisable as I'd never given birth, I'd had bad periods before which meant I would probably not have an easy time with you. But I was determined to try.

I had been on the combined pill, my first contraceptive, for a year and I felt so relieved that my periods had finally become predictable. They still hurt but they were short, less bloody. It took a long time for me to realise my mind was affected instead. The doctor said my depressive feelings were only a result of Masters year stress, not the pill. I had to wait to till the year was over. I believed her. It didn't get better. I returned and requested a new method of contraceptive, one that didn't make me a ball of anxiety if I took it half an hour late. She suggested the implant, a progesterone-only contraceptive that would go in my arm and last for 3 years. Perfect I thought, it was a year and a half later as I fell into a depression related to work pressure that I discovered through my own research that progesterone is linked to low mood side effects. I had periods that lasted weeks, I became anaemic and my hair thinned. It took months to get the implant removed.

A new doctor, a new combined pill, this had a lower dose of progesterone and my periods came back under control, I even hoped my mood was a little better. However, I was badly depressed, going to counselling and taking antidepressants, I was desperate to do anything to lighten the strain. I started looking at non-hormonal contraceptives.

Condoms only terrified me, I never want to be pregnant. That left the copper coil. I was advised toward the hormonal progesterone coil, "It's a low localised dose, fewer side effects, like only taking two pills a week". I was unmoved, I knew my body now. I got almost every side effect on the progesterone implant, I knew this meant the hormonal coil wouldn't lessen my periods, so what benefit was there if it continued to add to my depression? I had to know how bad my mental state really was, free from hormones.

So I got you, the 5-year copper IUD, and they had not been sugar-coating the insertion pain (next time, I want stronger pain medication than two paracetamol). But I'm functioning better, my depression is still here but I have only had one panic attack in the last 3 months since I got you. The mental space dedicated to fear of missed contraceptives is now free. My periods suck but I'm taking the physical pain over mental pain joyfully. I've got prescription pain killers as of my fourth month of coil periods, something I should have asked for as a teenager when I missed school due to period pain.

So, dear copper IUD, thank you. You showed me I could stick up for myself, that my mental health was a valid factor and it's ok to ask for help and a second opinion until a better solution is found. There are no medals for crying in pain so I kicked my pride out the window and asked for painkillers that would actually do something. In an odd way, you taught me to stop punishing myself, even if you do hurt like f**k.

Thanks for showing me I'm strong.

Anonymous, Northern Ireland

Empowerment and Mood Swings

Dear copper IUD,

It's been 2 years now since we were introduced, and although we've had our ups and our downs, I have to say you make me feel so empowered. I think you made my mood swings worse (boo) but you've helped me enjoy sex more (yay) - all in all, I think we're pretty good together!

Emily, Sweden

Fumbling About

Dear Menstrual Cup,

I’ll be honest, I was terrified of you at first, but after 4 days fumbling about with you, I think I’ve finally sussed you out! I really think we could have a future together, especially while I’m dealing with some extra implant-related periods!

Lots of love,

Ellie

Ellie, Australia

Request Denied

Dear tubal ligation,

I struggled for years with nightmare periods, raging hormones, and every possible birth control option there is. Doctors denied my request for tubal ligation-despite my undying conviction I did not want children. Until one day someone said yes and 2 weeks later my life and my body changed in the most amazing way. Thank you.

Andii, Canada

A Craze and a Mess

Dear The Pill,

Thank you to the doctors for not letting me know that you would make me more insulin resistant before I went on you, making me have to inject more or the stuff that keeps me alive, thank you for sending my sugar levels in a craze and making it more of a mess to keep in check.

Anonymous, Scotland

F-U

Dear Pill,

I wish I had listened to my gut and just said no to you. Although the certainty of birth control was great, it was definitely not worth the massive weight gain, hormone imbalances and fertility struggles I’m facing post taking you. Honestly, F-U.

Love,
Ana

Ana, Slovenia

On/Off Relationship

Dear the Pill,

We have a rocky relationship.

Seeing each other on and off for years. Sometimes I think we are great together, in many ways you make my life a hell of a lot easier, we share the same interests, most notably an active interest in not getting pregnant.

But you also bring out the worst in me. You play with my emotions, manipulate my thoughts, with you I am tearful and angry and feel out of control.

My friends tell me I should leave you, to realise we aren't good together and find another contraceptive partner. But I'm scared to let you go. There may be plenty more fish in the sea, but there are definitely not plenty more contraceptives. While our relationship is undoubtedly toxic, it feels comfortable and familiar and safe.

That being said, maybe it is time to move on. Maybe it's time to find a contraception that does not abuse my trust and manipulate my mind.

So, Pill, hear me when I say,

It's not me, it's you.

Georgie, UK

150 Days!

Dear my hormonal coil,

Thanks!! Thanks so much for 150 days now of no periods and no pain. Plus, it's lovely having a great and spontaneous sex life with my boyfriend.

It was weird at first, the idea of having something new inside me, and it did require an afternoon in bed when you were put in. But I'm so grateful!!

Love, Hannah

Hannah, UK

Falling Through the Cracks

Dear pill,

It's been 2 years I'm no longer taking you, and I couldn't be happier about it. Being totally honest, I would love to stop using condoms, but at least they don't have unpredictable side effects. Just to let you know - my horrible migraines went away. I don't feel miserable anymore. I don't panic anymore if I don't have my migraine medication with me. I don't cry in pain on the bathroom floor after having vomited for the 3rd time in a row, and - most importantly - I don't have to figure out what's wrong with me on my own. My libido is back too, I just feel more alive, more connected to my body. Dear pill, for someone you might be life-saving. But for me you aren't the right choice.

Dear doctors....

Why did I fall through the cracks of the health system? Why didn't you talk to me about possible side effects? Why, when I've got migraines, you didn't connect the dots? Why did you tell me it's all due to genetics and put me on another medication which gave me hallucinations? I was so scared.

I'm free now. No more migraines, no more anxiety about having one, no more hallucinations.

Best,
X

Anonymous, France

Is it Because My Body is Weird?

Dear IUD,

I really hoped we would last longer than we did. You were such a good help with the horrible pain, but twice you tried to leave me and the third time I had to let you go. Now I'm trying to find a replacement, but it's hard to find a match like you were. Luckily the pain isn't as bad anymore, if it's because of our short friendship or just because body is weird, I'll never know.

But I sure do miss you.

Sara, Norway

Dumped on the Pill

Dear pill,

I wish when I went on you all those years ago (10 years) that I knew you would mess with all my hormones and make it so when I come off the pill that I feel so much better, have a higher sex drive, not feel so messed up. Off the pill now I feel so much better and it's clear I wasn't taught what you could do even though I changed off a few pills for other side effects. Also being off the pill I am starting to learn about my body and what's normal where as for 10 years what I thought was normal was very wrong. Wish I had been given more education rather then just dumped on the pill.

Anonymous

Which is Worse?

Dear The Pill,

You have made my periods 4 days long instead of 7. You have made them lighter, and less painful, and more bearable, but you also cause me to have intense cramps in my cervix and pass clots big enough to fill my menstrual cup. You’ve stolen my sex drive and made my mood swings go wild, yet I feel addicted to you. I’m scared of what will happen if I come off of you, I’m scared the pain and length and heaviness of my periods will come back. I no longer know what’s worse. Heavy, painful, unbearable periods, or mood swings and a lack of sex drive which is threatening my relationship

Please sort it out.

Thanks

Charlotte, England

My Shield

Dear my little pill,

Thank you for becoming my shield against my endometriosis. You have fixed many things and I am grateful to have my life back again. Sometimes I take you for granted and it can get annoying taking a pill every day at the same time and the occasional mood drop can become tiresome. But then I have a break and the pain, nausea, fatigue and pain (again) reminds me that I have a remedy for most of the days of the year and the fact that (for me at least) it is just a little pill is actually very cool. You have even decreased my symptoms of PTSD which is an added bit of fabulous.

Thank you v much,

Anonymous

Toxic Relationship

Dear Combined Pill,

It's been a couple of months. I'm not sure who's to blame for our breakup - I guess it wasn't your fault that you made my body form blood clots in my lungs, but I'm finally realising it wasn't my fault either. I just wish someone had been able tell me we were in a toxic relationship before I had to be hospitalised.

Regards, Melissa

Melissa, UK

Diagnosis Party!

Dear period,

Here we are. About 9 years after my first period. It has been a wild ride so far. Over the past years we have dealt with so many irregular periods, horrible cramps, pregnancy scares and so much more. I have always felt that there was something a bit off about you. I never knew what and I was never encouraged to figure it out. Never. I was actually advised against figuring out what was actually wrong. I felt helpless, scared, frustrated and so much more. Until I was done with all of that and decided that I needed to know what was wrong. We have dealt with 3 types of different birth control pills, broken condoms, an implant, coitus interruptus, fertility awareness methods to finally come to the hormonal coil. Because the other methods weren't especially helpful with regulating you and giving me the security I needed to feel safe, I came down to the decision to get a hormonal coil. Not using any other birth control except condoms was not an option because my partner didn't feel safe enough. So I came down to a coil. But not after I went to multiple doctors to insist a examination about PCOS. I had read so much about this hormonal disorder that I was certain that this was it. And it was. Finally after all those years of not knowing what was happening, I finally do. And it brings me so much joy that I don't have to question my period every time it happens.

Love Sophie

Sophie, Netherlands