Beats Being Pregnant

Dear Injection,

Thanks for making me gain 15 pounds in a year. I feel awful about my body. Thanks for the awful side effects. Thanks for the spotting and discharge 24/7. But I guess all that beats being pregnant :).

Anonymous, USA

Like Clockwork

Dear Pill,

Thank you for halving the amount of pads I have to use each period and for taking the stress of not knowing when my period will show up!

Thank you for minimising the back pain and cramps I used to get but had to ignore!

Thank you for making life just a little bit easier to deal with by taking the period stress away making it all work like clockwork!

Sincerely, Me

Kate, UK

Pre-Pill

Dear Pill,

I am glad to say that I’ve just celebrated a year without you in my life after two and a half difficult years with you in it. Despite protecting me from pregnancy, you caused many changes to my mind and to my body that really hurt me. You caused me to retain water, go through worse periods than pre-pill life, and lead to me spiralling into depression. I was not happy in myself at all. Things have changed a lot and I feel like my pre-pill self again (finally!).
You really won’t be missed, condoms are much better for me now!

Georgia, UK

Left a Scar

Dear Implant,

I read so many reviews and talked to friends before finally deciding on you. You were a bit painful to begin with. We had 9 lovely carefree months together. I didn't have to worry about a thing but I was worried about everything and anything. I became depressed and anxious, maybe not entirely your fault. However, I decided we should part ways and it was a nice clean break-up. You've left me a scar but I am happier now, hormone free and surprisingly worry free.

Switching to condoms was easier than I thought with my partner supporting me 100%. I feel lucky to have them and now to be hormone free.

Love
Lucy

Lucy, Scotland

Focusing on the Important Stuff

Dear IUD,

After having my son, I needed to find a birth control that wouldn’t mess with my milk supply. I got the IUD and not only did it not effect my milk but I don’t have to worry about periods or getting pregnant. It really freed my mind so I could focus on being a mom and being present with my son.

Jess, Canada

A Tale of Three Relationships

Dear Pills, Implant and Needle,

You were my life line in the fight against not getting pregnant for 10 years, I started with the pill at 16 years old and you were great, you made sure that my period was always on time and that I wasn't in a ton of pain all the time, and we were great until life got busy in college and I kept forgetting to take you, and it was scary, so I did research, and found the implant. You were a little match stick that sat in my arm, you weren't uncomfortable, and I could feel you under my skin, which was fine. But after a 5 week long period.... We needed to break up.

Along came the needle, you were ideal, 12 weeks between shots, no period, only a short pain after getting done, it sounded perfect. well, we broke up in March after a year because I wanted to know what I was like off artificial hormones, and well… still no period? Where'd she go?

Sincerely,
Just looking for my Period.

Anonymous, Ireland

Back and Forth

Dear natural hormones,

I have had such a massive journey with you even if it's only been three years. From 16 I used artificial hormones because I hated how irregular and spotty you made me and not having a clue what to do about it except take a pill. Three years later, after going back and forth with overwhelming types of contraception thrown at me, I have invited you back into my life. Not only do I know a hell of a lot more on how to manage you, but I'm also able to embrace you and nurture you for when I need you in 20/30 years.

From your body

Anonymous, UK

Discharge Tells All…

Dear Contraception,

Since getting to know my body, educating myself and being able to identify where I am in my cycle purely from what type of discharge I produce, I have now gotten rid of you forever. Goodbye artificial hormones and latex sperm shields, hello freedom!

Good riddance,

Phoebe

Phoebe, England

Managing PCOS

Dear (possible) PCOS,

You suck!
The weight gain and the inability to lose weight sucks. The excess hair that has made me self conscious since I was young sucks. The intense period pain sucks.

Luckily, finding a diet that works in lockdown by reducing the sugar I eat and exercise has meant that I've managed to lose a stone so far and I'm no longer classed as obese! Now to finding a method of coping with the rest!

Thank you to my hormonal coil for helping with this so far. Gone from having around a 60 day cycle on the implant to a 30 day one on the coil! Big up the coil!!

Here's to the future and managing the rest!

Cait

Caitlin, UK

Rough Start

Dear Implant,

We had a rough start in our relationship. The first year of having you was rocky, periods every two weeks or two months. But 3 and a half years later, we’re on our second implant and life has never been better. Thank you for taking away the periods and the pain that came with them. If you could be so kind as to get rid of the PMS and spots that come with it though, that would be great!

Anonymous, UK

Funny Story

Dear IUD,

The 10 seconds of pain putting you in is well worth the lighter periods and sex (especially the sex). My anxiety is lessened about unplanned pregnancy thanks to you. Plus, you gave me that funny story about the med student who was so excited when I told her she could look at my vagina too instead of just politely standing by the door unable to see anything.

Chris, USA

Cracking Pair of Tits

Dear pill,

I am so sorry it took me so long to meet you, but thank you. I know you made me put on some weight which initially made me self conscious but I have a cracking pair of tits now thanks to you, and the little tummy I have now is so much better than periods that lasted more than a week and caused me so much pain and discomfort. Please keep working xxx

Kate, UK

Escape

 Dear the mini pill

I don't even know how to express how grateful I am to you, you saved me from the period pains that crippled me and the mood swings and emotional distress that came with the combined pill (maybe it's more my family and friends that would want to thank you for that one). Thank you for letting me escape the anxiety I felt about when my period would start and most of all thank you for letting me run, walk and climb whenever I like without worrying about cramps.

You treat me right

Love from Lottie

Lottie, England

Narcolepsy and Contraception

Dear Narcolepsy,

You couldn’t just let me get you under control easily could you? I was prescribed Modafinil to control you but of course a medication you’re definitely not meant to get pregnant whilst taking, interacts with the combined pill. Just before you came into my life, I was finally happy with the pill, I could take it all the time to stop my periods, it never let me down. I looked for a new form of contraception but the lack of research around you and Modafinil in young women didn’t make it easy.

I gave up trying to figure out what hormonal contraceptives may or may not be affected, and gave into the Copper Coil. It was a nightmare to get an appointment to get it fitted, and I had a very painful few days at the beginning, but despite that I feel better than ever.

I feel so much more in tune with my body. We have a good relationship now. And even you Narcolepsy, you annoying, inconvenient disease, I feel like we’re on the same level now. We get each other now. So thank you for forcing me to think about my contraception and thank you for pushing me to get the coil. I know I’ll have to put up with you whether I like it or not for the rest of my life and I accept that now.

I’m sure we’ll make it work.

April - whose brain you inhabit

April, UK

Stay Sticky

Dear patch,

Thank you for being my primary form of birth control over the years. I'm sorry that some doctors have tried to get rid of you over the years. They mean well, but they don't know the full story of why we were introduced together. I have quite a few other health issues to worry about and lots of meds to take for them. You, however, cause me the least amount of stress. 3 weeks on and 1 week off made me an expert in my own period and I never really kept track of it before. Thank you for keeping me in charge of my own body. Our time together might come to a close in the next couple of years, as family planning is in the works. Thanks for always being there for me. Stay 'sticky' my friend.

Anonymous

Unpredictable

Dear the injection,

My life has changed dramatically since meeting you; I've gained weight, and my mood swings are far from predictable. I still get my cramps but I dont get my periods which I thinks a bonus. But the best part is it brought me and my boyfriend closer. Thank you x

Anonymous, Wales

Assumed Straight

Dear pill,

Thank you for saving me from monthly depressions. It has now been three years since I last had a menstrual depression, and I have gained a normal life. A bonus is that I don’t get 9 day long menstruations, with cramps for days, anymore.

You’re not always great and sometimes you make me feel sick often, especially when I’m tired or hungry, and I will probably have acne scars on my chin forever now.

Taking you has been weird, both because I was vocal about my period before you and then suddenly you made it disappear. It makes me uncomfortable to tell people I take you because they automatically assume I’m straight. Taking you as a lesbian has been tiring to explain, always leading me into the difficult topic of depression.

In the future, I hope I can be free of my menstrual depressions without side effects. But until then, I will take you daily because the side effects are small in comparison to the dark I was in before you.

Best wishes,
Your friend

Anonymous, Sweden

An End to the Dread

Dear Pill,

Thank you for changing my life. I used to dread each month for the pain and sadness it would bring but you took it all away from me and now I’m period and pain free and enjoying every month!

Kathryn, UK

Flaws in the System

Dear endometriosis,

You first showed up in the form of me having intense pain during penetrative sex. Then I started to become ill every time I had my period while I was on the pill. Then with the hormonal coil, I was finally getting a bit of a break from you for a few years but you sure as hell worked your way through that to the point where I was in debilitating pain. At my lowest, I had full blown contraction level cramps for two weeks straight. However, I don't blame you.

I blame the doctors who did not take me seriously for so long. Who eventually sent me to a psychologist to fix my pain, which was impossible and left me feeling terribly guilty about not improving. I blame the >20 medical professionals I saw over the years who never thought about endometriosis as a possible explanation for my symptoms, I blame the medical system that severely fails to fund research on bodies with uteruses and basically any body that does not belong to a white able-bodied man. I blame the "endo specialists" I saw when I finally figured out on my own that I have endo and then dismissed me based on incorrect arguments (which I learned thanks to the Hormone Diaries community, massive shout out to all of you).

Thankfully with help of this community I finally got the help I needed. Now, a few months after surgery I am stomach pain free, my bowels begin to function more normally again and with physio therapy and psychological therapy I can finally work through my medical traumas, and start getting my body and life back. I hope I never feel you again, don't take it personally but you're quite literally a pain in the ass.

xoxo, your host

Anonymous, The Netherlands

Poof! A Baby!

Dear My Irregular Period,

My story starts all the way back in 2015. I had just married my husband and we decided together that I should stop taking the pill. I had been taking the pill for 3 years and the entire time I never felt like myself. I cried all the time and was very depressed. As soon as I stopped, I felt like my old self. It was amazing!
I began trying to track my fertility and soon realized I had very long/irregular cycles. Anywhere from 30-50 days. I began to do research and came across The Hormone Diaries in 2016! It was a great comfort watching Hannah navigate through same changes I was going through. For the next few years I would bring up my irregular cycles with my doctor at my annual exam. They ran a few blood tests and since everything was normal, they said there was nothing to worry about.

Cut to fall of 2020. My husband and I decided to start trying to conceive a baby. Luckily since I had tracked my fertility for so long, I was aware of when I would ovulate.

Poof!

After a month I was pregnant! We were overjoyed. But unfortunately it was short lived. That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 6 weeks. It was very hard. However, I was not to be deterred from our mission of having a child.

Poof!

The next month we found out we were pregnant again! This time the baby stuck. And I am currently 35 weeks pregnant.

I will never know why that first baby didn’t work out. Was it my body? Is it something to do with my irregular cycles? Was something just not right with that embryo? The questions still linger. But for now, I just focus on this special time in my life where we are about to welcome our baby boy very soon!

Faye, USA