Offended or Grateful?

Dear The Pill,

When the doctor at the walk in clinic said she'd like to change my pill from the combined pill to the progestogen only pill, because I was fat and the POP was safer, I didn't know whether I should be offended or grateful.

6 years of no periods later, and I can definitely say I'm grateful. No periods isn't the only thing you've brought me. You gave me my life back. I didn't realise how deeply my depression and anxiety were linked to my periods until I stopped having them. I stopped wanting to kill myself, I stopped hating everyone, I stopped being so damn angry all the time. You saved me from myself.

I know some people find the pill makes them depressed and alters their mood for the negative. I am so lucky and so grateful that, for me, it did the opposite. For me, taking the pill is the biggest form of self care I have. I am so very, very grateful.

A pill a day is a small price to pay for my life. Thank you.

Your loyal friend,

Anonymous, UK

Hormone Free

Dear Natural Family Planning,

Thank you for teaching me about my body and helping my partner and I avoid pregnancy right now. You helped me avoid taking birth control when I was worried the hormones would hide issues with my cycle. You help me identify potential endometriosis. You showed that I don't have a progesterone issues so that when we have try to have kids, I know I have done what I can to prevent miscarriages after my mom had so many.

I'm sorry, Natural Family Planning, that people call you the rhythm cycle and think you don't work for preventing having kids. Thank you for teaching me about my hormones. Thank you for working. I hope more people learn about you and get to know you better.

Much love,

Anonymous, USA

Until I Decide to be a Mum

Dear pill,

Thank you for allowing me to go on with my life for 8 years. You've been amazing, here's to a long friendship till I decide I want to be a mum.

Ariadne, Spain

Misunderstood Legend

Dear Birth Control,

The mini-pill? You're a misunderstood legend that just wasnt right for me. You stopped my period but were a lot of effort, gave me acne and made my hair fall out.

Sorry we didn't work out.

Combined-pill? You and I were once perfect for each other, but after my experience with the mini, you turned on me. After 3 weeks of excruciating leg pain to the point that I couldn't walk/sit/stand without taking a heavy dose of prescription painkillers (and a doctor pointing out it could be "a touch of endometriosis" in my legs that was triggered, I decided to end things. You weren't worth my suffering, I had a degree to finish and a life to live.

To my current beau, the hormonal coil. You are a blessing disguised by my uterus. Yes we have our ups and downs (the horrendous acne, hairfall and cramps for the first few months, and you giving my boyfriend’s penis a prod on occasion), but I'm down for the long term commitment if you promise not to be a dick for too much longer. I don’t believe in soul mates or "the one" but you might be the closest I've gotten to it so far.

All that said, to all of my birth controls, I appreciate your service. You will never be forgotten, and I will always remember that you stopped me from reproducing when I didn’t (and currently don’t) want to.

Lots of love,
Hannah

Hannah, Scotland

Contraception Choices Minefield

Dear my pill,

I started taking you at age 16 and it was golden from the off. We never had a disagreement over the next 6 years. They have since stopped making you and I am heartbroken. I have tried other pills, I am currently on the hormonal coil and, given the constant bleeding I have experienced on the coil (it’s been 7 months), I have gone on the pill again to help settle it down. I want desperately for the coil to suit me and to replace you but I am feeling drained and without hope. Having access to so many options today is wonderful and a privilege, but I cannot help being angry that it is such a minefield. Bodies, eh? For anyone reading, though, if you choose to go on the hormonal coil ask your doctor about going on the pill/staying on the pill at the same time. Apparently this helps your body get used to the coil quicker and you should be able to stop taking it after 3 months. This would have helped me. We just all need to work together to make sure everyone is as informed as they can be!

My heart goes out to anyone else who used the same pill as me and misses her as much as I do. Stay safe!

Natasha, UK

Not Worth It

Dear Pill,

I was made to go on you when I was getting sexually active, and it was great. We had a lovely time together. But over the years, you made me feel nothing, made me paranoid, made my mental health reach an all time low. The fear of pregnancy and the joy of being able to control when I would have my period wasn't worth it anymore.

I was beginning to hate you.

I would forget taking you in the morning.

I was beginning to think that this wasn't worth it anymore.

I had to think of another way to prevent pregnancy.

So goodbye, Pill.

I have moved on to the IUD. The pain in the beginning was worth it, my mental health feels so much better

Anonymous, UK

No Side Effects

Dear Copper IUD,

I am grateful that you cause no side effects that harm my body at the expense of protecting me from an unwanted pregnancy.

Love Karen x

Karen, UK

It’s Not Normal!

Dear all the GPs that brushed me off.

Fuck you.

In my senior year of school, I had 6 months of constant bleeding, falling asleep in class and so much money wasted on pads. According to my doctor, it was perfectly normal for someone my age (17) to have irregular periods.......but this ain't irregular, this is too regular....

Same thing happened the next year, another 6 months of blood and lethargy. Went to another doctor, same explanation of them and a script for the contraceptive pill. I never took that because the period stopped in the week after that particular visit.

This went on for a few years, and I gave up on doctors in my town and didn't consult another doctor until I was 20 and had moved to a city with more options.

New doctor said that having a period for that long isn't normal (duh) and she sent me off for bloods and a ultrasound. After that, she diagnosed me with PCOS and anemia due to all the blood I was losing. She went ahead and prescribed me the combination pill and Metformin (which is the automatic prescription for PCOS, but it really shouldn't be).

Went well for about a year on those meds, until I ended up in the hospital with a Pulmonary Embolism (blood clots in the lungs). Turns out the combined pill can cause blood clots, good to know! (I also have a Protein C deficiency which contributed to the clotting, didn't know this prior to the hospitalisation) Took me about a year to feel like I can breathe freely, but I still have constricted breathing sometimes and will have to take blood thinners for the rest of my life.

Now I'm on the implant to manage my PCOS, because going back to constant bleeding is the alternative. Don't know if I'm going to stick with that long term, but choices are limited when estrogen is ruled out.

If you made it this far, congratulations! Just please get your doctor to test your clotting susceptibility before taking estrogen!! It takes a blood test and may save your life.

Dana, Australia

Fear of Pregnancy

Dear my progesterone-only pill,

When I first started taking you four years ago I was so relieved I wouldn’t be dealing with my monthly visit from Aunty Flo anymore. You took away my pain and discomfort! However, I don’t know if what you gave me instead was worth it... the crippling anxiety, the constant fear that - even though I was TAKING THE PILL - I would definitely get pregnant, and feverishly take test after test, even though the bf and I are always careful. I would burst into tears with every negative result, even though that is...what...I...wanted? To this day anxiety follows me around like a nasty smell. Can’t get rid of it. The fear of pregnancy is what keeps me from kicking you to the curb. So while I thank you for keeping the physical pain at bay, you SUCK for giving me the mental and emotional pain of constant worry. In a few years, when bf and I want to start a family, you are OUTTA HERE.

Chessy, UK

Depressed and Horny

Dear the implant,

I had you fitted in 2016, you were my best friend for almost 3 years. You stopped me from getting pregnant, and you stopped my periods.

But you did sometimes scare me and give me fake pregnancy symptoms.

When it was August 2018 everything changed. My boyfriend and I were about to go to Spain for my birthday, I was out with my mum shopping for a new bikini, but then everything changed. I tried on the bikini bottom over my knickers and I had a feeling something had changed, I had this warm feeling that my period had started. I didn’t have any signs I was about to come on and I wasn’t prepared at all.

I went and bought some pads hoping it would stop before we went away. But it didn’t. Luckily my boyfriends mum had some pills to stop it so I took one on the morning we flew and every morning we were there until we came back.
When we came back we went down to my boyfriend’s nan’s, I went for a wee thinking my period had stopped as you do. But it came back and then I didn’t have anything on me, and I didn’t have any money on me, I asked my boyfriend’s auntie and she didn’t have anything, his uncle pulled me over to one side and took me down to the shop and bought me some pads. I felt rather embarrassed but he said it’s ok, every woman gets them it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

My period didn’t stop for 9 months, my implant was causing me pain and faint spells, but no matter how many times I went to the doctors they wouldn’t remove it. They gave me the pill that works along side it but that didn’t work.

Eventually I had you removed, and found a new best friend the hormonal coil.

So dear implant you are and will no longer be my best friend. You hurt me, caused me pain and to pass out. You caused my iron to be low, you caused me to have no sex life at all. You hurt my feelings, you made me crazy for months, you made me hate myself daily, you made me depressed and yet so horny and flustered. I hate you I hate you I hate you. And I’m glad you are no longer in my life.

Molly, UK

“Ride It Out”

Dear Implant,

How blind sighted I was when you promised me a spot free face and light periods. How low and confused, and sad I was when, after you were implanted, I cried everyday and didn't know why. My once upbeat optimism shot down in a flux of progesterone. I know they say, wait 6 months. I know they tell you, there are always going to be side affects. But surely it doesn't have to be this way? Surely contraception shouldn't have you feeling at your lowest low with doctors telling you to just "ride it out?". After pleading with my doctor, you were removed. I felt lighter. I felt me. I didn't know the reasons I had been feeling so blue were because of you.

Dear Coil,

THANK YOU. Hormone-free, decade long contraception. I've found my other half. We still have qualms (8 day periods... really?) and contraception research has a long way to go, but thank you for showing me that hormones are not the only option.

Love, Paige

Paige, England

The Pill Implant Super Team

Dear the implant,

After so many failed attempts at the pill to control my heavy very painful periods, you in conjunction with the pill gave it a kick in the butt and now I no longer have periods and no more pain.

Thanks friend xxx

Eleanor, UK

You Owe Me Money For Lube

Dear Vaginal Ring,

Thanks for messing with my libido so badly my partner started thinking I was asexual and for eliminating any kind of natural lubrification! You owe me the money for lube :)

AJ, Italy

Peace of Mind

Dear The Pill,

From the age I first got my period (12) to 18, I was suffering from horrible cramping, irregularity and intense PMS symptoms. I dealt with it until I become sexually active was constantly spending money on pregnancy tests due to my irregular period causing fear that condoms hadn't worked. I finally decided enough was enough and started you, Pill. You changed my life. Not only have you regulated my period and made it a million times less painful, I can have sex with the peace of mind that if a condom was to break, there's a very low chance of me becoming pregnant. Most importantly, you have improved my mental health dramatically. Thank you Pill for making my life easier

Much love,
Louisa

Louisa, Australia

Less Cramps, More Vomit

Dear my first pill,

Cramps as a teenager were awful!! In my last 2 years of school my attendance record showed me going home on a Tuesday afternoon every 4 weeks, like clockwork. 2 YEARS! But no, going off to university was when Mum suggests the pill might be a good idea ("you know..just in case?!?") So I met my first pill and WOW! No cramps, minimal boob pain, such a light flow, 7 days down to 4 and I could control it! Life was amazing! Every 4 weeks I'd bleed (as was recommended at the time) and then start a new pack on Saturday. On Sunday I had work but I'd often wake up feeling a bit weird? I'd go to work anyways and mid morning I'd be sick usually 3 or 4 times and then feel great again however, it was difficult to rush off the shop floor 4 times and be as white as a sheet for most of the day. A WHOLE YEAR I did this before thinking maybe it's my pill and it was! Why did I take so long to realise and make decisions about my body that were so obvious and causing me pain and discomfort???

Thanks Pill, you changed my life but I'm glad to have switched to your less spewy cousin pill now!

Anonymous, UK

Love My IUD

Dear IUD,

I love you.

Sydney, Canada

19 Day Cycle

Dear The Pill,

Thank you for rescuing me from a cycle that lasted a mere 19 days. Thank you for saving me from having a period EVERY 2 AND A HALF WEEKS. Thank you for relieving my agonising back pains that would keep me up at night, retching into a bucket. Thank you for having absolutely no side effects whatsoever (I know, I'm extremely lucky). Most of all, thank you for letting me take back control of my body. It's made my life a hell of a lot easier.

Evie, UK

You Could Have Warned Me

Dear IUD,

I got you to stop my periods and hopefully the pain that comes with them from my endo and you do that well! I can work and go for walks on my period now, and my bleeding is very light.

That said, why didn't my doc warn me that my first period with you would be so much worse? I was so freaked out when I was in more pain than normal and when I called the doctor she said it was 'not unusual'.

It would also be nice if you could convince my PMS to leave, but the lack of bleeding is enough for now.

Anonymous, Australia

Goodbye Pill, Hello Condoms!

Dear Pill,

It's been a while since I've given you much thought.

I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not.

October 2019 (9 months ago) after many years of yearning for change. I stopped taking you. You suited me at the start, throughout my late teens and early 20s but I grew anxious at the thought of you and what effects you were having on my body. We spent 7 years together but during most of that time I feared a missed pill, the long term effects on my body, infertility but above all I knew my mental health was suffering badly! I did consult my doctor about non-hormonal methods but all in all I didn't get great help, they tried. Saying goodbye to you was the best decision of my life! I feel like myself.

The pms symptoms I get have changed a bit now (sorer menstrual cramps, headaches, fatigue, moodiness, sore/heavy boobs) but at least I can rest assured that it is my natural body doing its thang! I'm lucky to have a loving supportive boyfriend who has been so helpful. We use condoms at all times and though I thought it would stress me out so much, I actually feel more in control then I ever did with you, pill. Our relationship and our communication has benefited so much through navigating condoms and everything else. I'm just so happy, dont know what I was so afraid of!

Thanks for the time you gave me,

You did come in handy in fairness

So long old friend,
Claire x
Claire, Ireland

Praise Be the Good Tenant

Dear my copper coil,

After almost a decade of taking the contraceptive pill, you brought peace to my mind and body. How often have I been worried about forgetting the pill or it not working because I’d get sick or, or, or… I changed the pill due to my acne many times (spoiler: it didn’t do anything for it). But not with you, I don’t have such worries anymore. You have brought a new sense of myself, about my body and cycle to me. I am sometimes still excited about what my body manages from month to month. I am grateful for you doing your work, quietly in the background. Once a year we actually see each other at my gynaecological check-up where you are praised for being a good tenant.

You sit safely and nicely in my uterus. You have rented that place for 5 years of which 3 are over by now. In two years, I am afraid, you have to move out. Even though I will miss you, I am looking forward for the contract to expire. Then we will have gotten our money’s worth and can finally think about getting pregnant. 
I already thank you for the time we got to spend together and who knows, maybe at some point, I’ll get you replaced. But you will always have a special place in my heart for giving the most relaxed years when it comes to my contraception.

Yours, Luisa
Luisa, Germany