A Chemical Imbalance

Dear contraceptive injection,

Thanks for making me gain so much weight and giving me a chemical imbalance in my brain to make me think it was all my fault.

Nicola, UK

Suck It Up

Dear Crazy Hormones,

Thank you for causing the week leading up to my period to be a complete roller coaster and the physical symptoms when my period arrives to be debilitating. You’ve also made any form of hormonal birth control impossible. You decided unreasonable irritability and WILD mood swings were a great reaction to the different pills. Your reaction to the patch - nothing shorter than 14 day periods!! And any other form was greeted with worse symptoms (didn’t think that was possible until it happened). I’ve been told nothings wrong, you (the hormones) are a little out of whack and I’ve just got to suck it up.

Anyway, I’ll just be over here enjoying my two weeks of freedom until it all starts over again.

Anonymous, USA

Menstrual Randomness Button!

Dear Implant,

I thought that more than a year in we would at least understand each other better. We started off great (regular periods, no spotting), and then you decided I should bleed for as long as you please and every three months you press the randomness button and I don't know what to expect. Regular 5 day periods? No periods? Three week periods? Who knows! I'm tired of expecting things to normalize. I had an appointment to discuss our future together but quarantine started that week. And now that we are at the worst of the pandemic, going to a doctors office seems so far outside the realm of possibility.

Still, i hold hope you show mercy and stop messing with my body. Not unlike an abusive relationship I still hope next month will be different.

Laura, Bolivia

I Hate You

Dear The Pill,

Fuck you for making me depressed. If I wasn’t struggling with myself before you, I certainly was when I was taking you. You made me hate everything so I hate you.

Anonymous, UK

A Love Letter

Dear hormonal coil,

I love you.

I love how secure you make me feel by protecting me from pregnancy (without any effort on my part). I love that the low dose of localised hormones don't seem to reach my brain and turn me into the ultra sensitive, will-cry-at-any-moment self that I was on the pill.

I love that I still get to have a distinct hormonal cycle and period with you. I have been tracking my experience with my hormonal cycle and have loved being able to work with and harness the power of it. I didn't really get to have a hormonal cycle with the pill.

Even though I like the feelings of release, reflection, and the opportunity to pause and focus on self care that comes with my periods, I appreciate that you make them so light and manageable for me.

It's been a good 3.5 years so far, here's to many more!

With love,
Holly

Holly, Australia

Considering the Pill? Part 2

Dear combined pill

Thank you so so much. I couldn’t deal with periods lasting over a week and occurring every two anymore. Bringing with it cramps which made me feel like I was going to throw up and pass out.

You have made my life bearable and period free

Octavia, England

Considering the Pill? Part 1

Dear Pill,

Three weeks in I knew it was the wrong decision I started taking you. I've never felt worse, mentally, than during my first withdrawal bleeding. My GP told me it would get better and convinced me not to stop. I got severely depressed and still I didn't stop. Six months later I quit and another six months later, I finally feel better. I wish I never even considered taking you.

Cecilia, The Netherlands

Get the Fuck Out of My Life

Dear progestogen-only pill,

Thank you very much for getting the fuck out of my life. I tried you for 6 months despite my constant disagreements with my GP that you weren't the right switch for me. For those 6 months, you made my first year of uni hell. I spent majority of it crying in my dorm and riddled with anxiety instead of going out with my new friends and having fun like students do. I will never get that chance to do over what was suppose to best year of my life.

You have put me off of having hormones going around my body for life but without you I wouldn't be on my new fitness path and losing all of the weight that you made me put on.

You may have been a best friend for other people but you are not to me

Lots of loathing and regret
Your ex best friend, Holly

Holly, England

I Wish We’d Never Met

Dear Pill,

I gave you a chance, 3 months straight I bled whilst I hoped you would sort out my life. Instead you ruined my mental health, I cried almost every night and pushed away my friends and family because of you. I’m grateful that we have access to such an amazing medical creation but my god do I wish I’d never met you.

Hannah, UK

Thank You and Fuck You

Dear Period,

Thank you for being so bad on the first day each month that I HAVE to tell people who want to spend time with me. Now I am so comfortable talking about you with everyone. In fact maybe too comfortable as my bf does not want to know all the details about you (amount, consistency, period poos), but I have to experience them and need to tell someone what a shit show being a person with a period is. So thanks you taught me a lot about myself and society.
But also fuck you, I am so afraid to go off the pill, because you will come back in all your making me faint painful glory (instead of the almost comfy withdrawal bleedings) but I will have to because those hormones probably are not helping my depression.

Please be kind to me when I welcome you back into my life.

Yours B

Anonymous, Austria

Worth the Fight

Dear injection,

I was scared to get you but I’m so glad I did. We’ve had some bumps along the way (I won’t forget that seven week period, and the fight to have you in the first place) but it’s all smooth sailing from here. No more horrible periods, no more cramping, no more horrific bloating. You’ve given me peace of mind, saved me from a lot of pain, settled my mood swings, made me feel like a human again, and given me back control of my body. You were so worth the fight to get you!

Lots of love,

Elle

Eloise, Australia

Kinda Crappy

Dear the pill,

we have a love and hate relationship. you keep my cycle in check, because without you my pcos can cause me to go 6 months without a period. But, you make my cramps worse and have made my life kinda crappy.
sincerely,

Anonymous, USA

Go With the Flow

Dear hormonal coil,

It's been a bumpy ride so far. I wasn't prepared for how you wouldn't settle for the first 6 weeks or that my body would do new things throughout the month according to my hormones (your friend, the pill, had left me without periods for 3 years). We had big cramps at first and changes in breast tissue which seemed scary, but we seem to be settling and learning how to be with each other now.

I wish that more people talked about you and women's bodies in general, you're such a mystery and taboo.

Despite the uncertainty, you've taught me a lot - how to be patient with my body, go with the flow (literally!) and seek help when I was unsure of what changes meant. I know my physical and mental body more deeply because of you.

Here's to a being more hopeful in our partnership and that it endures.

Ellie

Ellie, UK

Third Time Lucky

Dear progestogen-only pill,

Thank you for being you. For letting me have sex with less fear of getting pregnant. For letting me have regular periods, even though you are progestogen only and that is against the odds. You are the third pill that I have been on - so far, third time lucky. My periods are still just as painful and heavy as usual as they are when I wasn't taking you, but I can just about deal with that.

Thank you for being you.

Yours,
Melissa

Melissa, UK

We’ll Meet Again

Dear pill,

Thank you for everything you've done for me, from not getting pregnant to helping me with acne. But I have to let you go now, I didn't know you could make me feel sad or nauseous. Maybe we will meet again some other time.

Myrtle, Greece

The Christmas Nightshift

Dear IUD the 1st,

Its been four years but I still haven't forgiven you for falling out during a Christmas nightshift which lead to me having to have a last minute gyno appointment. Nothing will beat the cringe I felt lying with my legs up, listening to East 17 on the radio, in my work uniform. Thankfully my current one has been no where near as badly behaved and we are very happy together!!

Hannah, UK

Home

Dear Body

Thank you, although I’ve put you through so much, you’re my home. Although I now have an IUD I still know my cycle, the sudden influx of whiteheads and that random irritability at physical touch, I’ve learned your rhythms. It’s taken 22 years and a lot of work, but I’m happy in my home. I promise to take better care of you.

Zoe, England

Safety

Dear the Pill,

You helped me handle the worst cramping, heavy flow and PMS for almost 5 years before my body rejected you (development of melasma). But you also kept me safe from pregnancy during 3 years of an abusive relationship, you meant I never had to make a tough decision about whether to keep a baby. I am now free and safe, and protected by an implant until the day comes that making such a decision is my choice and mine alone. Thank you.

Anonymous, Switzerland

A Mild Inconvenience

Dear pill,

Thank you for turning my 7 day periods into 5 day ones. I just wish I had never decided to take you at 4pm everyday as that’s now very inconvenient. If I could suggest any future improvements, I’d ask that you please make my periods lighter, and maybe bring my sex drive back. Thanks babe x

Anonymous, England

50 Days and 50 Nights (Of Bleeding)

Dear Implant,

You honestly caused a shit storm for five months. Bleeding for 50 days straight will apparently land you with an iron infusion and this thick, sickly fog that won’t leave you. I despised you at first, as the whole point of getting you was to decrease my bleeding and my pain. I was frustrated with you. I couldn’t take the pill because it made me ill, I couldn’t do an IUD because of trauma, you were my last hope. And I wanted to get you removed.

But now; the pain is gone. The cramping that would literally have me cemented in bed for 14 days has vanished. I hate feeling you in my arm, but I thankful that you finally started to work.

Anonymous, USA