“Inconclusive”

Dear my implant,

Why would you make me put on so much weight? Why has that weight got to be in such a way that I look 4/5 months pregnant constantly? Why would you give me month long PMS despite the fact I have no period?

I got you as I couldn't deal with the headaches I got on my period (with or without the pill) - they left me unable to get out of bed for the whole weekend. I was told you'd potentially stop me having periods at all - which you have, and for that, I'm very very grateful! The headaches are gone, and I have no debilitating cramps! But still having a lot of the PMS symptoms (see: mood swings, random crying, bloating, fatigue, headaches, spot breakouts) in the lead up to light spotting, and the weight gain? I wasn't prepared for that. I never felt that weight was important to me, and the numbers still don't, but looking at my stretch marks and the fat I've never had before, makes me feel like this isn't my body.

This is only made worse by the fact that weight gain isn't *officially* a proven side effect. The fact that the internet is full of women saying that implant has made them gain weight is apparently irrelevant because the small amount of scientific evidence on the subject is 'inconclusive'.

I realise that having you removed would stop all of this, but I don't know if my natural cycle would be any better or if those horrendous headaches and flu-like symptoms would return. Perhaps, you are the lesser of two evils - I can live with these side-effects, even if I have had to buy bigger jeans! Plus, as long as I have you, I can kid myself that the weight will fall off once you're gone with no work required on my part!

I'm sorry I spend so much time being angry with you - I'm sure you're doing the best you can!

All my love,
a-grateful-but-frustrated Chelsea xxx

Chelsea, UK