Get Myself a Pee Stick
Dear Implant,
While I'm grateful to you for preventing any unwanted pregnancies, I'm less impressed with your effect on my period. 6 weeks of spotting, bit of a break back to normality, then semi-periods every fortnight. Next up is a gap that's long enough I'm concerned you haven't done your job and get myself a pee stick (fortunately it shows you're doing something right at least). I'm ready for a bit of consistency please!
Yours (somewhat) gratefully,
I don't want to be a mother
Mel, Australia